Mind the Hoop - A Safety Notice

An important message from your committee

Following a number of “incidents” at the 2025 Season Opener, the committee wishes to remind all players of the following:

1. The hoops are fixed in position. They may not be moved, however persuasive you feel.
2. The big tree is not a hoop. We had to say it.
3. Running across the lawn is permitted, but doing it while holding a full glass of PIMMS is considered “showing off”.
4. If you strike a ball so hard that it leaves the park, you are responsible for retrieving it. And apologising to whoever it hit.

Sportsmanship

Croquet is a gentleperson’s game, and we expect gentlepersonly behaviour at all times. That means shaking hands, congratulating the winner and not, under any circumstances, muttering “you dirdy rat mongrel”, nor crying like baby within the Captain’s earshot.

He has excellent hearing, and a long memory.

In other news

Roxy the dog has been formally appointed Head of Ball Recovery. She did not apply, but she did seem very keen.

See you on the lawn.